I was sitting at my computer working on my hot, melt your panties sex scene and suddenly I hear. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. What the…?”
I looked down and there sat Sam, my demon dog, with a mouth full of feathers. So, silly me I asked him, “What’s in your mouth?” Sam barked, “Nuthin.”
Right. Does he think I’m stupid? The poor bird cheeped desperately. In my best mean mother voice I commanded, “Spit!” Sam does and the chicken, wings flapping madly and squawking pathetically took off like the Devil himself was after it.
Sam (the Devil in disguise) thinks this is great fun and chased the poor chicken all over the house. Right into my kinda messy kitchen (hey, I’m working here). Where I had left out a bowl of hot sauce on the counter and you guessed it – SPLAT! That stupid bird slammed into the sauce, wings still flapping like crazy, splattering the stuff all over the walls, ceiling, floor and me. Arrgh!
Okay, I lost it and started screaming blue bloody murder at the crazy chicken and my hyperactive pooch. Off they went, spreading mayhem and sauce all over the living room. Mad as hell, I grabbed my broom and tried to chase the damned chicken out the back door. “You’re dinner! Do ya hear me?”
Someone pounded on my front door. “Go away,” I shouted. They shouted back, “Police! Open up.”
Crap! I opened the door and smiled all friendly like at the hot cop on my front porch. “Can I help you officer?” His hand on his gun, the officer eyed my sauce-covered body, “Are you injured, ma’am?”
A slightly hysterical laugh escaped me. “No, sir. It’s hot sauce.” At his incredulous look, I invited him in. Sam ran by in hot pursuit of the chicken, splattering the unsuspecting officer’s immaculate uniform. “Sorry,” I whacked madly at the stupid chicken. “Bad chicken!”
The nice officer snagged the broom out of my hand and with one easy swing, batted the “bad chicken” right out the back door. Without another word, he gave me back my broom, turned and walked out. I yelled after him, “You like fried chicken?”
He got in his car and drove off. Guess not.
Gail Koger
I love your two stories. I hope your chicken tasted good. Particularly after you marinated it in hot sauce!
That was funny, I have a cat that acts the same way.
My neighbor had chickens which were free roaming and when they got in my yard the dogs got them. After a while they had it down to an art form. I kept taking the dead ones back to the owner but he still wouldn’t cage them.
LOL thanks for the laugh
meandi09@yahoo.com
lol lol That chicken must have taste good is right after he was marinated. lol Thanks for the humor this Sunday.
Carol L
Lucky4750 (at) aol (dot) com
OMG that’s funny! You know he’s added that to his “Crazy Calls” list. Rookies for years to come will hear that story!
Bethany
OMG that is a funny story. I can only imagine how he reported that when he got back to the office. Too funny. Thanks for sharing.
Knowing you I know this is true.
Wonder how the officer wrote that one up. Lol
Too, too funny.
Dorothy
LOL thats really funny. Say i wonder if that chicken would have been delicious hmm.
*snort* Dogs and chickens are **always** funny
You should make nuggets of that chicken and send them, anonymously of course, to the police station along with a bottle of hot sauce.
That was hilarious!!!! I needed to laugh in the worst way and you came through with a great story that had me laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.
Thank you so much, you made my day!
Thank you! Sadly it based on fact.
Gail
that sound like my dog duddle dog he go round up the duck and geese form the pond were he take
them in morning told him go get them and round them up my geese do not like to come home
so he sat on my goose and i head him screaming and went to see what up the goose
was chewing on his ball he was a 75 lab
Chickens are stupid critters and thankfully they weren’t aggressive.
Gail
LOL, that’s cute! My dog (german shepard) sits in the grass in the back yard and waits till the squirrels or birds get brave and go for his food before he pounces. He’s pretty funny and occasionaly catched one the he will “play” with for a while.
I bet that chicken was rockin
I loooove hot sauce!! Great post!!!
Oh my goodness! That was funny!
hhahahaha that is hilarious
Ha ha ha that was good!!!
~Brandy
brandyzbooks at yahoo dot com
lol Oh my! Thats too funny! That mess….hehe. Thanks for sharing! Happy holidays!
shadowluvs2read(at)gmail(dot)com
Thank you!
Gail
How to NOT meet a cop… Also known as How NOT to make fried chicken. teehee!