Menopause is the transition period in a woman’s life when her ovaries go on strike and all hell breaks loose. We become a human roller coaster. One minute we’re fine the next we’re Attila the Hun in a dress.
Here are the fun things you get to look forward to:
#1 – Hair starts growing in places you really rather it didn’t and you suddenly look like Groucho Marx. If that wasn’t bad enough, you realize you’re getting a little thin on top. Okay, you can give your husband a run for his money. Buying several wigs will take care of that little problem until the hot flashes hit.
#2 – With one look you can send grown men Running for their lives. Okay, the knife clenched in your fist doesn’t hurt either.
#3 – Deprived of chocolate you have the ability to take down an armed felon without breaking a sweat or a nail. Hey, who needs the S.W.A.T. team?
#4 – You don’t need a sauna, you are one. Those wonderful sweat stains and sodden hair are so very becoming.
#5 – Chocolate is the only thing standing between you and a life behind bars.
#6 – Your sex drive sputters to a complete and utter stop. If a lap dance from a hot Chippendale dancer doesn’t get you excited, your husband’s in for a long dry spell.
I tried everything from Black Cohosh to soy to Evening Primrose Oil and finally settled on Prempo to keep my homicidal tendencies under control. The good news is, the police no longer do hourly drive-bys on my house, my hot flashes are gone and my sex drive is back. Now where did I put my little black negligee?
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Gail Koger
I used to take Prempo until I found out it’s made with horse urine. When I confronted my Gyno, she said it was true, and that in her (professional) opinion the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Uh-huh, tell that to the horse.
I was wondering why that horse was chasing me!
Right on with the chocolate, Gail! In desperate times it may come in handy and they can always cheer me up.
CambonifiedATyahooDOTcom
Chocolate keeps me sane, too.
Gail,
I must be weird, I’m 49 and I haven’t started menapause yet. And the older I get the more sex I want. It’s a shame no one in my life. Maybe that’s why I crave it so bad.
Well I do get cranky when I do crave chocolate or Potatoe Chips. Gotta have them or I will destroy. Once a month like clock work.
Great post.
Teresa K.
tcwgrlup41(at)yahoo dot com
Yes can certainly relate to a number of those points. Thank god for chocolate!
skpetal at hotmail dot com
Love those witch’s hair that pop out all over your face!
Dang, I am not looking forward to this… I’m scared or at least everyone around me will be. lol
christina_92 at yahoo.com
Yeah, it not fun. Just keep lots of chocolate around.